Arthur's Farm Lyrics

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Arthur's Farm Lyrics

by Half Man Half Biscuit

Arthur Askey and Dougie Wougie Bader,
Went down to the Animal Farm.
Dougie was a bore,
With his stories from the war.
And explaimed about the boil on his palm.

Napoleon, very pink, offered both of them a drink,
And a drink and a drink and a drink.
Come the hour of four,
there were legless to be sure,
Not one of them had even had a wink,
Of sleep.

Everybody sang as loud as they could,
"Two legs bad, but four legs good!"
This made the boys feel pretty impressed.

{? K. Winding film ?}, it was A.A at the helm,
While Dougie played a quacker on the roof.
After amputating limbs and {? the Oil of Murphy ?} hymns
And a sign saying second-hand hooves.
Years passed by, it got crazy in the sty.
It was good, but it was total apathy!
Everybody asked around
As the Beast of Eeling Sound,
Had been ruined by a busy busy bee!
And shouts were heard from the East to the West,
"Four legs good, but no legs best!"
Invalidity reigned supreme.
And shouts were heard from the East to the West,
"Four legs good, but no legs best!"
One-time visiters were now the regime